The husband who was to mind the house

丈夫看家

341'

Once upon a time there was a man who was so bad tempered and cross that he never thought his wife did anything right in the house. 

从前有个脾气暴躁的男人，他觉得妻子在家里什么事都做不好。


One evening, in haymaking time, he came home, scolding and swearing, and showing his teeth and making a commotion.

在晒干草的季节，有天晚上他回到家里，骂骂咧咧，大发雷霆。

“Dear love, don't be so angry. That's a good man," said his wife, "tomorrow let's change jobs. I'll go out with the mowers and mow, and you can mind the house at home.”

“亲爱的，别这么生气，这样就对了，”他的妻子说，“明天咱俩换换工作吧，我和割草工人出去割草，你在家里照看房子。”


Yes, the husband thought that would do very well. He was quite willing, he said.

丈夫心想这样正好，便说他很乐意。


So early the next morning, his wife took a scythe over her neck, and went out into the hay field with the mowers and began to mow. 

于是第二天一早妻子就把镰刀挂在脖子上，跟割草工人去干草地干起活来。


But the man was to mind the house and do the work at home.

丈夫则被留下来看见、做家务。


First of all he wanted to churn the butter. But when he had churned a while, he got thirsty and went down to the cellar to tap a barrel of ale. 

首先他想做点黄油，但是搅了一会儿他就觉得口干，于是下了地窖，想打桶麦芽酒喝。


He had just knocked in the bung and was putting in the tap, when he heard the pig come into the kitchen above. 

他刚塞好木塞，把龙头插进木桶，就听到楼上的猪跑进了厨房。


As fast as he could, he ran up the cellar steps, with the tap in his hand, to keep the pig from upsetting the churn. 

他手握龙头，赶紧顺着地窖台阶往上跑，想去看住那头猪，生怕它把奶桶弄翻。


But when he got there he saw that the pig had already knocked the churn over, and was standing there routing and grunting in the cream which was running all over the floor. 

可是跑到楼上一看，猪已经撞翻了奶桶，正站在那里呼噜噜地拱着洒了一地的奶油。


He got so angry that he quite forgot the ale barrel and ran at the pig as hard as he could. 

丈夫暴跳如雷，一下子忘了酒桶的事，拼了命地去追猪。


He caught it, too, just as it ran out of doors, and gave it such a powerful kick that he killed it on the spot.

猪正要跑出门的时候被他逮着了，他猛踢一脚，猪当场就趴下断了气。


Then he remembered he had the tap in his hand. But when he returned to the cellar, all the ale had run out of the barrel. 

然后他突然想起手里还拿着龙头，可是等他下了地窖，木桶里的酒早淌得一滴不剩了。


Then he went into the milk-shed and found enough cream left to fill the churn again, and so he began to churn, for they had to have butter for dinner.

接着他去了牛奶房，用剩下的奶油装满了奶桶，就这样他又搅拌起来，因为他们晚饭必须有黄油。


When he had churned a bit, he remembered that their milk cow was still shut up in the barn and hadn't had a bit to eat or a drop to drink all morning, although the sun was high. 

他搅了一会儿，突然记起家里产奶的牛还关在棚里，整个早上都没吃一点草，没喝一滴水，而现在太阳已经升得很高了。

It occurred to him that it was too far to take her down to the meadow, so he'd just get her up onto the roof, for it was a sod roof, and a fine crop of grass was growing there. 

他突然想，带牛去草地吃草实在是太远了，还是把牛赶到房顶上吧——要知道，他们的房顶是草皮铺的，上面长了一层绿油油的草。


The house was close against a steep hill, and he thought if he laid a plank across to the back of the roof he'd easily get the cow up.

屋顶的坡面很陡，离地很近，他想，要是把木板架到后面的草皮屋顶上，不用费多大力气就能把奶牛弄上去。


But he couldn't leave the churn, for his little baby was crawling about on the floor.

但是他还是不能离开奶桶，因为他的小宝宝正在地上爬来爬去。


"If I leave it," he thought, "the child will tip it over.”

他想：“要是我丢下奶桶，小孩肯定会把他打翻的。”


So he put the churn on his back, and went out with it. 

于是他背起奶桶出了门。


But then he thought he'd better first water the cow before he put her onto the roof, so he picked up a bucket to draw water out of the well. 

但是他又想，最好先让奶牛喝点水，然后再把它赶上屋顶，于是她拿起水桶去井边打水。


But as he stooped over the edge of the well all the cream ran out of the churn over his shoulder and down into the well.

可是一弯腰，奶桶里的奶油就流了出来，越过他的肩膀，流到井里去了。


Now it was nearly dinner time, and he hadn't even finished the butter yet, so he thought he'd best boil the porridge. 

这么原来已经快到晚饭时间了，他却连黄油都没有做好，他想，还是先把粥煮上吧。


He filled the pot with water and hung it over the fire. When he had done that, it occurred to him that the cow might fall off the roof and break her legs or her neck, so he climbed up onto the house to tie her up. 

于是他盛了一锅水，把锅吊在火上，弄完之后，他想，奶牛也许会从草皮屋顶上掉下来，把腿或者脖子摔断，于是他爬上屋顶去栓牛。


He tied one end of the rope around the cow's neck. He slipped the other end down the chimney and tied it around his own leg. 

他把绳子的一头绑在牛脖子上，另一头穿过烟囱系在自己的腿上。


Then he had to hurry, for the water was now boiling in the pot, and he still had to grind the oatmeal.

他得赶快做好这一切，因为锅里的水已经开了，他还有燕麦没磨呢。


He began to grind away; but while he was hard at it, the cow fell off the roof, dragging the man up the chimney by the rope. There he stuck fast.

他开始磨起燕麦，正干得起劲的时候，奶牛到底从屋顶上掉了下来，这一摔，绳子直接把他拖进了烟囱里，紧紧地卡在了那里。


As for the cow, she hung halfway down the wall, swinging between heaven and earth, for she could neither get down nor up.

而奶牛则吊在墙半腰，不着天不着地地晃悠着，因为它既上不去，也下不来。


Now the wife waited seven lengths and seven breadths for her husband to come and call her home to dinner, but he never came. 

这个时候妻子左等右等，怎么也不见丈夫来叫他们回去吃饭。


At last she thought she'd waited long enough, and she went home. 

终于她觉得等得已经够久了，于是自己回了家。


But when she arrived home and saw the cow hanging there, she ran up and cut the rope with her scythe. When she did this, her husband fell down from within the chimney.

当她回到家里，她看到奶牛吊在半空，连忙上去用镰刀砍断了绳子，这一砍不要紧，丈夫也从烟囱里掉了下来。


When the old woman came inside, she found him with his head in the porridge pot.

当妻子进屋以后，她发现丈夫头朝下，插在粥锅里。

本篇故事的文本选自英国作家Angela Carter的作品集《安吉拉·卡特的精怪故事集》。